cru·ci·ble | \ ˈkrü-sə-bəl \
Definition of crucible 1: a vessel of a very refractory material (such as porcelain) used for melting and calcining a substance that requires a high degree of heat
2: a severe test
3: a place or situation in which concentrated forces interact to cause or influence change or development
When the world shut down due to COVID-19 in the early part of the year, we slapped together some temporary ways to get through our rapidly changing reality: Kids doing school from their beds; adults in the household positioning themselves far apart to reduce battling Zoom volumes; the dog laying down on all of the things; the constant picking up, wiping down, putting away, and doing it all over again every day. You all know what it looked like--you went through it too. It felt like everything was intensifying and we had no idea if or when we'd come out on the other side.
Now that a few months have passed, I feel like we are in a crucible. The intensity and uncertainty has, well, intensified. At first, I'd been pretty lax about everything working, let go of some stuff, and figured we'd all get back to normal soon enough. But everything is still not working, the stuff I let go of needs to get picked back up, and there is no "normal" on the horizon. I am aware that we aren't going to come out on the other side in good shape unless we put some systems in place--new shared agreements, new roles, new habits, more structured spaces, new rules for the dog, and a little more grace for each other.
In some ways this reminds me of organizations doing the work of organizational culture change. It's clear that the current way isn't working--particularly for white-dominated institutions trying to remain relevant in a dramatically different demographic context. Layer on the recent expansion of the Black Lives Matter movement into mainstream white consciousness, throw in a few sticky Board of Directors situations, add some staff who are eager to center equity and inclusiveness in the work and organizational practices, stir in some COVID related budget shortfalls, and you've got yourself a white-hot mess and the need for a little more grace.
Sometimes when organizations are going through these critical "crucible" moments, they embrace the heat and dig into the work. Other times, they resist, flailing and fighting to hold onto the old. But most of the time, they sway back and forth between the two. They experience self-doubt, make big mistakes, try to patch things together quickly, reverse course, and try to manage the collective volume of distinct but intersecting challenges.
Established organizational culture--the "old" way of thinking and behaving--holds a strong gravitational pull, and it is easy to fall back into what we know. When you're trying to do things differently, progress can seem too slow and too muddy. Some institutional leaders lose patience and cut the process short. Some staff get tired, doubt that they'll get what they need from the process, tell themselves they've done enough. Sometimes, that's all true. Other times, we cut ourselves off from transformational growth, both institutionally and personally--and letting the crucible cool before the transformation is complete.
So here's to all of you who are holding steady, keeping your eye on the long game, and helping each other through doubt and fatigue. We need you, we appreciate you, we see you. You are solid gold. Hang tough, everybody.